Project Internet EyeRape
by xXKanpekiXx
Summary: Inui has discovered a new way to gather data on his precious players. He's turned an old, horrid memory into a delightfully morbid attack on his team's sanity. Most likely going to be some swearing!
1. Prologue

Hey y'all! Standard Cliched Disclaimer: Ok, I don't own Prince of Tennis. That's pretty obvious, right? Yeah, I'd hope so.

Well, to really get this series, I would suggest a basic knowledge of Lemon Party, Meat Spin, and the Rickroll. If you don't know about them, I seriously don't suggest that you go and see them. Bad news. Awful. Don't do it. Especially the last one. What's even worse is with that most of my encounters with these, I was forewarned and I still looked. Damn my naive curiosities.

So I'm talking to my friend...let's call him J (he'd prefer that XD long story). J and I were talking about something either random or sexual or both and all of a sudden, he comes out with this deal about Lemon Party. "Don't look at it. Don't." I was like "Seriously? You know I'm going to look because you told me not to." But he was like "No! Don't!" And I did...I'm so stupid. And then, I showed more people. How great of me.

For Meat Spin, much the same thing happened. My other friend Mutton was like "Shit! My computer has some virus and it keeps bringing up Meat Spin! Gross! Brb I need to restart." So, stupid, stupid me, I asked what it was. He refused to tell me, saying it was just gross. Me being the pervert that I am, I could guess what it was, but I still wanted to see what it was so I looked it up. I'm a true idiot. 40 spins, people. 40.

The Rickroll is kind of a funny story. I didn't even have to get tricked for this one. I just heard the word years ago, looked it up, and left it be. Until I was feeling particularily bitchy one day and I decided to Rickroll my bestie Rebeccer. I sent her an inconspicuous link and said "OMG! Look! It's so awesome!" She opened it. I rickrolled my best friend. I'm an awful person. But don't worry! She got me back good. And while she was at it, she got her dad, a computer whiz which was a feat in itself. She's truly a genius!

* * *

Sadaharu Inui knew his team inside and out.

He knew things about the players they probably didn't know about themselves, or wouldn't discover for a number of years.

In under a minute, he could tell you the team's basic profile, a skill proving most useful in case of him having to sell out his team to the fangirls and sponsors…well, that's not what we're talking about here.

Inui could tell you that Ryoma showered for exactly 15 minutes and 46 seconds, shampoo and conditioning time included.

Inui could tell you that Momo and Kaido would soon be dating based on their personalities, actions, and circumstances.

Inui could tell you that Eiji and Oishi became 200 times more forgetful (especially when remembering to lock doors) when they were together…alone for too long.

Inui could tell you that Kawamura had a huge chance of beating their gym teacher at arm wrestling. Don't worry folks, the teacher in question was something of a bodybuilding power-monkey himself.

Inui could tell you that Fuji would discover that he had a bondage fetish.

And finally (for now), Sadaharu Inui could tell you that Captain Tezuka was going to be a prominent force in the world of professional tennis. Ok, well you don't have to take too much information off Tezuka to figure that one out, but still.

Of course, to be so well informed, Inui had to constantly be on guard with a notebook and pen within reach at all times.

Enforcing this need was, on occasion, a rather uncomfortable venture for the voyeur, but his stalker-like obsession for private details drove him to questionable lengths. Some of his methods had been deemed downright unsanitary, but no one needs to know about that, so shut up!

Lately, data-man had been running low on tests for the team. Inui would lay awake at night, pondering how he could discover more about his team, but for every night of sleep he lost, he gained a grand total of zero divine inspiration.

It was one of those long, long days after a painfully sleepless night (not in the good way) that the idea came to him.

At first he didn't think much of it.

It was really much more an unpleasant memory than a way to cultivate data on his team at the time, but as the tremors down his spine at the mental images died down, his calculating mind twisted it into something quite useful. As he was copying down some diagram from the Biology board, that same horrid memory that inspired an amusing facial expression or two became a brilliant idea.

He remembered the time his best friend Yanagi had shown him Lemon Party.

Apparently, when they were younger, someone from their tennis class had decided to play a trick on poor Yanagi and once Yanagi had been hit with the eye-rape bomb, he'd been so down in the dumps that he'd felt a need to punish someone else. Guess who he sent it to. What a great friend and what an awful, vile thing to do, I know, but Inui could have almost thanked the bastard for such a splendid idea.

Then plotting his first strike, he turned to a fresh page in his data book and made a new heading.

* * *

Ryoma better watch his ass cuz he's up first.


	2. Ryoma

Today was kind of a blah day until after school. I did well in Spanish though. Actually owned people in the EXAMEN ORAL! Ah, my little bitch Donihua (XD inside joke name) now has a girlfriend! I have to warn her that he's poor... And then there was no softball practice, so I went to my speech teacher's room to practice. I've won 2/3 contest for the Rotary so far. The last one's coming in over a month, so I have to prepare. Oh and then I volunteered to help grade stuff and I got paid :D $17.50

Off topic. Oh, just to let you know, I don't like putting more than one disclaimer in a story. It's depressing, you know, to keep reminding myself that I don't own Prince of Tennis and it's not like I somehow aqcuired the rights to it overnight. Though I wish I would. Damn it.

One more good thing happened today! You know those little notepads of paper that are usually yellow (these are white) and they're lined with the cardboard in the back but no 3 holes? I suck at describing things, I know, but it's just a notepad. I just put a third one in my notebook because I've been running through them so fast what with my obsessive fanfiction writings. According to my Spanish teacher's system, I'm a genius at writing and public speaking. Hooray, I'm special!

Yeah, well enjoy! XD

* * *

Ryoma took a swing at the slice Oishi had just hit him, but he stopped halfway through the stroke when he heard his name being called. He glanced up and scanned he courts to see who'd waved to him. Inui strode toward him, scribbling something in his notebook about a sound response.

"Inui-sempai?"

There was a small amount of displeasure mixed in with his usual indifference as we was just a wee bit put out at the interruption of his match. That dissipated, however, when Inui took hold of his wrist and let him away.

That anger was replaced with a more powerful emotion.

Fear.

Ryoma began to fear for his life as he was abducted from the courts and brought down the hall leading to the computer lab. Even though the coach had seemed so lax about the kidnapping, he was still uneasy about the situation given pat experiences turning out not-so-great. Inui saw this apprehension and decided to relax his subject, so he started a conversation.

"Don't worry, you'll be back in time to finish your match."

Ryoma glared up and murmured "But will I be physically able to?" Inui laughed, seeing what was implied.

"No _physical _harm will come your way. I just want to show you a website. Everyone will see it, but we're going by reverse seniority, so you're first." He said then pulling his head back up and scanning the rows of doors for the right classroom.

Ryoma nodded, beginning to trust Inui's motives a bit more, which as we all know is an awful, naïve mistake.

He asked "So, what kind of site is this?"

His idle curiosities had allowing him to instigate some conversation into the painfully awkward conversation. Though he was slowly nibbling at the doubt holding back his trust in his upperclassman, the poor traumatized seventh grader was still cautious of any shady experiments coming his way. The taller boy adjusted the frames adorning his face and replied in his monotonous drawl.

"It's just a survey of sorts. I wanted to see how this would work with our team. I expect great results." The malicious boy snickered to himself at the sick, morbid joke he'd just made. Echizen, as cocky and arrogant as ever agreed to him since this statement had explicitly included some form of possible superiority. They stopped suddenly when the smaller boy tugged at Inui's sleeve and muttered something sharply.

"Are you absolutely sure that I won't be in any pain after this?"

Inui smiled grimly, thinking about the mental scarrage he was about to inspire.

Ryoma mistakenly read this grimace as an emotional blow from his hasty assumptions. He had no intention of apologizing though. This is Ryoma we're talking about. Be grateful he even thought of something so insightful.

Anyway, Inui once again insisted that Ryoma would be perfectly fine once the survey was over. Assured that nothing would inhibit his tennis-playing abilities, Ryoma kept following Inui until they reached the computer lab.

There was one lonely computer humming in the center of the drab room. Ryoma sat in the stiff plastic chair and instantly felt the pressure. Even in the barren classroom, Ryoma felt as if he were standing trial in front of the Inquisition.

Inui, who was left standing, leaned over and maneuvered the decrepit old mouse to the internet explorer icon and typed in "Lemon Party."

Just to be sure that the data he was about to get would be completely accurate and untainted, Inui asked "Have you ever seen this site before?" The small boy genius absentmindedly scanned his memory, but no sudden, horrified recognition crossed his face, signaling to the torture artist that it was safe to proceed. He clicked the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button on the Google Toolbar and stared intently at Ryoma's impassive face.

Well, it sure wasn't impassive for long.

Once the image popped on screen, poor, poor Echizen's brain fried. His face drained of all color and it twitched, slowing contorting as his eyes flickered and shuddered. His mouth fell open and he spun round, speeding out of the room screaming as he left. He may have even pooped himself a little. Just kidding. Or am I?...

Inui scribbled madly into his handy-dandy notebook and prepared for his next victim…

* * *

Well, Momo gets his next time. XD


	3. Momo

Ah, I like this series. The chapters are really short and therefore, less work. It's nice. I'm seriously enjoying Spring Break! WOOOOOT! I have time off! It's so amazing. I decided to devote myself to fanfiction. Forget homework. I haven't touched it yet :P But I have added a chapter onto Slumber Party of DOOM (D. Gray-Man), Getting Caught (Prince of Tennis), 100 Things I'm Not Allowed to do in the DA's Office (Phoenix Wrigh), and I added a story called Oishi's Fangirl. YES! I have a lot of stories already written out, so I want to post some of them.

Anyway, when my friend Mutton heard Flo rida's version of Right Round, he was like "o.0" We both prefer the old version to the new one, even if the old one was used for such a...well. You know XD. It's such a shame that Lemon Party doesn't have music. That would have made the trauma just that much easier to take. But of course, mitigating the horror isn't exactly the purpose...

Any suggestions for me? I love writing random, suggested fanfictions. It's fun for me! Go ahead! Suggest!

* * *

Sadaharu had quite a scare when he saw Ryoma talking to Momo. He knew his data gathering chances might have been ruined and he panicked, quickly grabbing the small boy round the neck and sending him back to finish his match with Oishi.

Slightly perturbed by Inui's rabid need to move his small buddy, Momo eyed his upperclassman warily, unsure of what he wanted.

"Momo," he moved closer, "Would you mind coming with me? I just need to show you a site." Takeshi was still cautious, asking if this site would somehow cause him any physical harm.

It was highly unlikely, but then again, Inui could ruin just about anything.

Physical harm?

No, not physical harm.

They trotted over to the computer lab, jog inspired by Momo who wanted to work those ankle weights without wasting time. Once halfway down the hall, Inui looked at Momo and gave him a creeper-status smile.

"So, do you know Lemon Party?" The ape-boy cringed and groaned.

"Is THAT what you're going to show me? No thank you." Inui and his delightful quick thinking saved the day.

"Oh, no, it's just that Renji said someone tricked him into looking at it, but he wouldn't tell me what it was." Momo seemed to relax a bit and grinned.

"Yeah, it's disgusting, I would not recommend it." Inui tensed.

What if he couldn't find another site to eye-rape Momo? But he was saved by the next comment Momo made.

Stupid, naïve Momo told Inui "I've never seen anything so gross. First time anyone's ever tricked me like that."

Score.

Prepared, resourceful Inui still had Meat Spin. And it was time. They'd reached the computer lab, signifying the start of Inui's cruel trap. He opened the door, leading poor, slightly suspecting Momo over to the lone chair in the middle of the room. He sat down, leaning back in the cold, hard plastic seat while Inui fiddled with the mouse and brought up a new screen.

He clicked onto a file in his favorites labeled "Spin" and set back to watch his handwork.

As soon as the…well… "You spin me right round baby right round…" came on, Momo flipped a bitch.

He managed to flee the room by spin 10, providing Inui with great information on Momo's emergency reflexes.

* * *

Yes! And since I've been feeling productive lately, I will also post Kaido's chapter! Yay me!


	4. Kaido

URGH Everytime I'm doing this thing! I mean to delete something in the document box and I accidentally click out because I hit the backspace button without clicking where I want it to go! OMG THIS SUCKS. And now I'm hungry. I think I'll have some of that left over beef stew. Well, I will when I'm finished writing this intro...and posting this chapter... AGH it takes so long. You see how lazy I am?

Sooooo....once I post a new MattXMello lemon, I'm going to bring back the quiz on my profile and I would appreciate it if you would vote! So, maybe tonight or tomorrow or whenever I actually sort this all out, I'll post a new version of it and you can vote for what story you'd like to see next.

Enjoy Kaido's torment!

* * *

This one's really sad. Kaido really trusted Inui and stupid, data-greedy Inui tricked him, depriving Kaido of his faith in humanity. Once Momo had been silenced by rather cruel means, Inui had set his sights on the other 8th grader.

"Kaido…"

"Yes, Inui-sempai?" He said, showing what little emotion he could in the form of respect.

"Please come with me. You have a moment to spare, right?" Kaido gladly complied, following Inui faithfully down the hallway throughout all of the probing.

Inui had learned to gentle poke at the subject of Lemon Party as he lured his victim down the hall just to make sure his data would be uncontaminated. Thankfully, Inui was not forced to resort to Meat Spin seeing as Kaido had never encountered Lemon Party. However, on the way in, the fateful experimentation ran into some difficulties.

Like Ryoma trying to save his upperclassman. Momo was with him, protesting not for Kaido's sake, but for the sake of stopping Inui's treachery.

They tried straight out to stop them in the hall, but Inui pulled out all of his craft from that data collecting mind of his and evaded them with a cunning sac-tap maneuver.

This did not deter the poor, traumatized pair as they continued their attempts to hamper Inui's diabolical scheme. And, had Kaido a bit more faith in Momo and Echizen, their efforts may have saved the poor man's soul, but alas, Kaido's angry nature allowed him to run full on into Inui's trap.

While he and Inui strolled down the corridor together, he blatantly ignored the large sign on the computer room's door reading "Run while you still can!"

Inui, acting nonchalant, ripped down the offending poster and motioned for his temporary doubles partner to enter. He did and, noticing the stool in the middle of the room, went to sit on it. Unbeknownst to Kaido, Inui turned round and thanked God for such a perfect, naïve victim.

Once the computer was running, Inui opened that familiar browser.

That was the last thing he remembered doing.

Apparently, one of Kaido's grossed-out reactions was decking the person who'd offended him.

As soon as he'd regained consciousness, he made note of it and moved on to his next test subject.

* * *

Yeah! Kawamura's next! WOOT! XD These are short and getting shorter. How great.


End file.
